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Falling Apart

from That​.​Black​.​Form by Paresis

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lyrics

There’s a certain feeling, you get when you’re leaving
like a sickness that’s rising,
A mixture of grief and elation, guilt and amazement, fear and awareness.
What the fuck am I’m doing?

She’s looking like hell, she’s looking so well
And I don’t how to say what I want to say .
Every second that ticks, is like a bullet that sticks
In my head and my body
Time is killing me now and it’s only getting worse
with all the lies and the half-truths,
clogging up my world view
I’m falling apart in front of you
How the hell do I rescue the situation
When everything I say makes her back further away?

I’m broken I’m fading
My life is abating
I’m twisted and torn
by decisions I’m making
October eyes glowing
You’re cold, yet I’m yearning
I’ll let you in, then I will shut you out

I’m broken I’m fading
My life is abating
I’m twisted and torn
by decisions I’m making
October eyes glowing
You’re cold, yet I’m yearning
I’ll let you in, then I’ will shut you out

I’ve rarely seen her eyes,
They’re normally disguised
And how I want to see what they have seen
Understand all we could’ve been

and I’m hating myself and all my feelings,
the shit I do when I’m fearing
Avoiding regret but still ending up headfirst in lament
What a sight it must be, self destruction, at it’s best or its worst
Fuck it all, time for another gin
Think what you want about me
I’m sure I’ve already been there and deserved it
You see I know I’m disgusting,
I know I’m a failure
I know
I know

I’m broken I’m fading
My life is abating
I’m twisted and torn
by decisions I’m making
October eyes glowing
You’re cold, yet I’m yearning
I’ll let you in, then I’ll shut you out
I don’t care!
What am I doing
You’re perfect, I’m naked
I hate you, I love you
I want you, I crave you
Two faces I’m faking
Too much I can’t take it
Just let me die slowly
I deserve all that pain

credits

from That​.​Black​.​Form, released April 21, 2017

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Paresis Milton Keynes, UK

I've just got some stuff I need to scream about.

Gin-soaked industrial

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